Hello! This is Discussion: [indie game] (spoilers!) – a series which, like Ronseal quick-drying woodstain, does what it says on the tin. [What tin, you say? What’s Ronseal, you say? Never mind! Let’s move on.]

Today’s game is Emily Is Away, a 2015 interactive novel by Kyle Seeley. During which, you are whisked back to the year 2002, and a Windows XP-alike environment, to take part in a series of instant messenger conversations with the eponymous Emily. Starting in the final year of high school and spanning the next five years, the game features all of the awkward ups and downs of teenage relationships, as well as plenty of era-relevant pop culture references. Choose your dialogue options, tap away at the keyboard, and prepare to cringe a little bit as you remember what it was like to be young.

Emily Is Away is available for free on Steam and itch.io, although the latter allows you to make a donation to the developer. And it’s short even by the standards of what we usually discuss here, so if it sounds at all like it might be of interest, we’d recommend checking it out before proceeding to the discussion below. Which, like Ronseal quick-drying woodstain, contains lots of plot spoilers. [No – Ed.]

Oh, and here’s a short trailer:

Ok? Here’s your ***FINAL SPOILER WARNING*** for the discussion below…
 

Rik and Jo have signed in

Rik: Hello hello!

Jo: Heyo!

Rik: This feels a bit meta!

Jo: Haha!

Rik: I realised playing this that in 2002 I probably didn’t use any messaging services much. Nor did I have Windows XP.

Jo: Oh really? Not even MSN?

Rik: MSN Messenger was the only one. But I probably only used it to catch up with you and maybe Stoo. IM definitely wasn’t much of a thing at school, and not really at university either (we had green screen e-mail terminals, not PCs, in most IT rooms). How about you?

Jo: From GCSE onwards I was on MSN Messenger. It was pretty much a fulltime hobby, changing screen names and whatnot. Possibly it continued into uni… though we didn’t really have internet in our rooms at halls, and only dial-up when we lived in a shared house.

Rik: I think we maybe didn’t have internet at all except in the computer rooms when I was at uni… maybe not even dial-up in a shared house? [Complains about being old].

Jo: Well, I suppose I went to uni about three years after you.

Rik: I remember at school we all got e-mail addresses in our final year of sixth form, but we could only e-mail each other. Kind of like a slow-motion IM service. I think there was an incident with some kind of mail-bomber account and flooding [scorer of this goal] Peter’s inbox with the same insulting message.

Jo: Oh dear…

Rik: I don’t really know what the point of it was except potential misuse really. Anyway, does the setup all ring true to you then?

Jo: Yeah, very nostalgic.

Rik: I enjoyed all the little band/movie icons through the years. The initial 2002 stuff in particular was all very spot on.

Jo: I thought so too. Although, I’ll admit to having a ‘2002? That wasn’t that long ago’ moment.

Rik: Coldplay! Blink 182! 28 Days Later! Red Hot Chili Peppers! I remember ‘By The Way’ by RHCP was played 1,000,000 times a day on MTV in 2002.

Jo: Aww, MTV!

Rik: Yes kids, when you had to tape your fave videos off the telly. I had Blink down as more 99/00. Then I realised I actually went to see them in 2004, when I was a grown-ass man.

Jo: You went to see Blink 182? I have no memory of this.

Rik: Yeah, it was the time of ‘I Miss You’…

Jo: Oh… when they were going all emo?

Rik: Whararyauo an oim sao saorry

Jo: Hahaha!

Rik: I’m sure there are memes about Tom DeLonge’s singing on that song. He’s now some UFO conspiracy nut or something.

Jo: Ugh what is it with 90s bands becoming conspiracy nuts and/or joining cults?

Rik: Are you talking about Jim Corr?

Jo: Jim Corr… the guy from Korn? Fieldy?

Rik: I thought Brian ‘Head’ Welch was the one who left to become a born-again Christian? [Googles] Although Jonathan Davis also reportedly claimed Barack Obama was an Illuminati puppet…

Jo: I’m not sure?! And the guy from Creed also went a bit nuts, apparently.

Rik: Anyway, I loved all that stuff even though it’s shameless nostalgia mining.

Jo: No shame there, it’s all done well anyway. Which, as we’ve said before, is hard to pull off effectively.

 

Coldplay=shit

Rik: I wanted to ask how it felt playing it as a woman. And I was trying to think whether it works regardless of gender or orientation. Or are there moments where you are definitely cast in the role of a man?

Jo: Uh… To be honest, I kind of didn’t think about it too much first time around.

Rik: I, of course, being a man, can’t remember, because it doesn’t affect me and therefore I don’t care. [Internet disclaimer: this is a joke].

Jo: Like, first time around I just went with the closest thing to my actual response. And even though there are pretty distinct love interest vibes (which wasn’t completely unexpected, given the setup), I think it worked just as well regardless of gender. Or at least, I just went with it.

Rik: Yeah, it’s not obvious from the start although there is mild awkward teenage flirting.

Jo: As you go along some of the responses are a bit blunt and made me think of some kind of obnoxious jock (I am of course using 90s teen romcoms as a reference point here).

Rik: Did you say you thought Coldplay were shit?

Jo: No, at first I was just polite (‘oh I’ve not heard them’). In my last playthrough I opted for all the more dickish responses and felt like I should be wearing a letterman jacket while wearing a baseball glove or whatever.

Rik: How many times did you play?

Jo: I think 3 in total.

Rik: Yeah, me too I think.

Jo: Just to try different responses.

Rik: I did the Coldplay=shit response the last time. With my baseball cap on the wrong way round.

Jo: What up, brah?

Rik: I mean, Emily seems to be into that. But not when you do it.

Jo: No, just Brad and Travis.

Rik: They are definitely douchey names. [Note: Apologies to any real-life Brads and Travises out there. To be fair, there are very few good fictional Richards either].

Jo: Yup.

Rik: It seemed fairly obvious to me from the first chat that this would be a game about getting stuck in the friendzone. While the friend that you fancy dates dickheads.

Jo: Yeah, that didn’t occur to me until it was a bit more obvious. Like year 3 or something? Maybe I’m really naïve (as I was when I actually used MSN messenger in 2002).

Rik: Whatever you do she ends up dating either Brad or Travis in year 2, right?

Jo: Yeah, she gets together with one or the other of them regardless of whether you attend the end of school party in year 1.

Rik: You can put her off Brad, but then she gets with Travis.

Jo: And vice-versa.

Rik: It’s very high school. You talk about how this guy is a dickhead and then later it’s like, ‘actually he’s really sweet and we’re going out’.

Jo: Oh yeah, the whole ‘he’s a really nice guy once you get to know him’ stuff. Then they break up, and she wants you to be the shoulder to cry on… and then they get back together again.

Rik: Do you remember having stressy serious chats on MSN back in the day?

Jo: Yes, I’m sorry to say. Awkward flirting with people who weren’t interested and a fair few e-arguments too with various love-interests… it was all eerily reminiscent.

Rik: I think I missed all that. My awkward teenage relationship was pre-mobiles, which of course meant that any ludicrous arguments had to be conducted via landline.

Jo: I think instant messenger was like a prelude to mobiles and social media.

Rik: It’s another way that something once considered nerdy is now mainstream. I mean, it’s basically WhatsApp, right? We’re literally doing the same thing here as on MSN Messenger, or Emily Is Away.

Jo: Yeah, except I haven’t got Hole lyrics as a screen name.

Rik: I could relate to all that stuff. It was considered Very Cool to let people know you liked Emotional Lyrics.

Jo: It was the original ‘U ok hun?’ It was a good way to send a passive aggressive message, or try to appear deep and interesting.

Rik: I’m actually fairly relieved to have dodged it all, at that age.

Jo: I mean, it made me feel nostalgic while also falling down a shame spiral/feeling kind of sorry for my younger self.

Rik: Yeah, that whole thing where your Mum and Dad try and tell you teenage stuff doesn’t really matter. And you’re like ‘IT DOES MATTER’. ‘You don’t understand yet…’ ‘I DO UNDERSTAND!!!’ (But you don’t).

Jo: I mean, for me who I fancied, my goth eye shadow skills, and what music I was into were all far more important than things like learning about oxbow lakes and trigonometry (or whatever).

Rik: I think I realised early on that I was going to be better at my school work than being cool. Once I found some people to knock around with, it was a lot easier.

Jo: I invested a lot of time in trying to appear interesting, but my misdirected energy just led to still being uncool whilst (unsurprisingly) not doing very well in school. Looking back, I’d been my own person rather than trying to convince others I was something I wasn’t.

Rik: It’s hard not to care at that age. Also easier not to care now. Hence parents saying ‘it doesn’t matter’.

Jo: The thing about IM back then (and the same with social media now), is you can create a more interesting version of yourself at your fingertips. Without all that stuff, you’re just the plain, unedited version of yourself. I can see the appeal.

Rik: I think all that was considered nerd stuff in my day. Even e-mail.

Jo: Yeah, I mean I kind of was a nerd. But not a good at school nerd, just a nerd with no friends.

Rik: That’s not how I remember it. You were definitely cooler than me!

Jo: No way! You were way cooler than me!

Rik: I have urgent news for you: no.

Jo: You had a group of friends. I was relentlessly elbowing my way into people’s house parties and following around stupid boys who weren’t interested.

Rik: I was at the Inbetweeners level, and happy to be there. One up from the mega nerds, but otherwise a long way down the social ladder.

 

Hot flushes of embarrassment

Rik: Anyway, we should talk about the game maybe. It did seem a bit strange to have a snapshot of the relationship each year.

Jo: Yeah, I did wonder… do they talk in between?

Rik: You’d assume so. But it’s also a bit like they don’t. Year 2 is the news that she has the dickhead boyfriend, and she doesn’t want to talk about him being a jerk. Then the next year they’ve broken up.

Jo: Yeah, in year 3 they break up and she wants to come and visit. But in year 1 she’s like ‘promise me you’ll always be there for me’.

Rik: That’s your classic teenage impossible promise. Obviously the teenage you doesn’t know it’s impossible. But as an adult you go, ugh.

Jo: On my last playthrough I was like ‘there’s no way I can make that promise’. I kind of enjoyed being an assertive, unemotional jock.

Rik: In the game you’re torn between doing what you would do now and what the teenage you would have done. What was your approach in year 3?

Jo: I think on my first playthrough I was overly polite/nice. I invited Emily to come and stay, and we just hung out. But I didn’t know that meant ‘hanging out’ *WINK* until the year 4 conversation where it’s all awkward and she’s back together Brad/Travis.

Rik: Did you involve alcohol?

Jo: I think so.

Rik: And/or set boundaries?

Jo: On my last playthrough, I told her not to bring booze, and set boundaries. But then in year 4 I didn’t want to talk about what happened and the conversation ended very abruptly.

Rik: I have to admit I felt mildly sick to be called out and accused of getting someone drunk to get off with them.

Jo: Oh 100%. Me too.

Rik: I guess that’s the ‘twist’ moment, or main narrative, er, thingy. [Great stuff! – Ed.] Anyway, it was quite effective.

Jo: I was like ‘yeah, come over girlfriend! We’ll have fun and forget all about stupid Brad/Travis!!’ And then the next year I was like ‘argh I’m a seedy letch’.

Rik: The horror of seeing uncomfortable words coming up. I was a bit defensive, like, ‘well you sounded like you wanted to bring booze and party, so…?’ Then I immediately realised that inviting your vulnerable friend to come and get drunk with you might possibly be construed in a different way.

Jo: Possibly I was going in a bit naïve in that you’re college kids and booze just comes with the territory. The current generation are possibly more informed and less oafish. But back then, anything and everything you did seemed to involve drinking. I guess I thought things were going one way, and then they took a different (and unexpected) turn.

Rik: I suppose you wonder at some stage about how to ‘win’ – i.e. get together? Be friends? Be a nice guy/gal? So then you think, is there a way that I can avoid messing things up?

Jo: I immediately played it a second time after my first playthrough to try and get different answers, but got pretty much the same. Then I went to the other extreme on my last playthough, and got shut down immediately in year 4.

Rik: Yeah, if you set boundaries and don’t get drunk, she’s like – why didn’t you make a move? And if you don’t let her visit, you just drift apart. It’s doomed, I tell you!

Jo: Yeah, these two were just not right for each other. I did wonder if it might go down a bit of a catfish route?

Rik: Oh really? But they meet in real life, right? Or you mean the College Emily is not the friend from school?

Jo: More in the way that you can be overly idealistic about people as they appear online, and so maybe when they saw each other after a few years they discovered they’re not nearly as interesting or connected as their IM friendship makes out. Does that make sense?

Rik: Oh right, yeah. So the lack of a ‘move’ is down to lack of chemistry, without alcohol? And then it’s like ‘oh, the moment passed, now it’s awkward’.

Jo: Yeah. I think online you can be a bit, er… less inhibited? Same as having a drink, I guess.

Rik: So, years 4-5 are a bit of a bummer whatever happens. Culminating in that awful awkward discussion where it’s clear you’re not going to be friends any more.

Jo: Yeah, I don’t think there is a version where they end up together or on good terms.

Rik: And you have the option of asking ‘real’ questions but the computer version of you just deletes them. Then it’s like, ‘read any good books lately?’

Jo: Yeah, I thought that was quite a nice touch – showing you what you want to say, but don’t dare (and we’ve all been there).

Rik: It’s very well done anyway.

Jo: I think so. Even if it did make me feel like a dirty dog!

Rik: Yeah. I had mild hot flushes of embarrassment.

 

Hacking into the mainframe

Rik: So, summing up – obviously, it’s very short.

Jo: Yeah, I think each playthrough took me about half an hour.

Rik: But it’s also available for free now, and you’re definitely into it while you’re playing. There’s something very addictive about the typing!

Jo: The typing wrong-footed me a little bit at first. I started by actually typing out the response, but you just hammer the keys and it does it for you!

Rik: You can do ridiculous fast ‘movie typing’… I may even have said ‘hacking into the mainframe now’ at one point.

Jo: Hahahaha!

Rik: Did you have any other thoughts about this one?

Jo: I don’t know that I have too much else to add.

Rik: I did briefly have a thought about how this might be considered a bit of an ‘incel’ game.

Jo: Mmhmmm?

Rik: As in, Emily goes with the jerk and not you ‘the nice guy’. And whatever you do, it’s the wrong thing. I don’t think that’s the intention at all. But it could be read that way.

Jo: Yeah, I did consider that too. But also, in the opposite way, that we’ve discussed. Where, you know, she’s vulnerable and comes to visit and you tell her to bring booze etc. It’s quite icky in that respect in terms of how something that seems fairly innocent on the surface could be predatory.

Rik: I guess though when you tell Emily not to bring booze and she is unhappy with you not making a move, that’s when I was a bit like, oh right, well what do you want then? Though it does feel very weird as a 41-year-old man pretending to be a teenager thinking, oh make your bloody mind up will you?

Jo: I’m not sure there is any political undertone particularly, it’s more about a doomed relationship. Whatever happens, these two aren’t going to get together.

Rik: I think it’s about lots of relationships at that age. It’s not about what you say or do, it’s just over after a certain point.

Jo: Yeah, definitely. Lots of mixed emotions at a very confusing time in your life. It’s a wonder that anybody gets on with anyone else at all.

Rik: You do have some choices, and can do different things, but ultimately the final path is fixed.

Jo: Yeah, you can adopt a different persona, and that impacts how you interact with one another.

Rik: And I know we said we wouldn’t talk about the second one yet, but this is kind of like a proof of concept for that.

Jo: Ah ok. I haven’t started the second one.

Rik: It’s not a sequel, story-wise. More like, ‘what if we did the same thing but with a few more layers?’

Jo: Yeah, I wondered if it might be like that.

Rik: But this one is definitely worth an hour or so of someone’s time.

Jo: I agree.

—
Emily Is Away can be added to your Steam library for free or downloaded from itch.io in exchange for a small voluntary donation.