Go back to Return to Castle Wolfenstein

Written by: Stoo

Date posted: January 22, 2008


In RtCW some of the most memorable enemies are the soldiers of the SS Paranormal division. Who all happen to be rather buxom young ladies, who go to battle in catsuits and high-heeled boots. Can’t be easy for them, seeing as it’s meant to be the middle of winter. However, aside from images of women with hypothermia tripping over their own feet as they chase you around a castle courtyard, it does present some potential moral confusion. See, the female form is fundamentally a positive thing (mental image: boobs), Nazis fundamentally bad (gas chambers). So is it okay to appreciate the view?

Then again, it’s not like we’ve never seen scantily clad Nazi ice-queens before. Any British reader over 20 will probably remember ‘Allo ‘Allo, where Helga would often strip to her frillies. Perhaps as part of some plan to convince Renee to hide a banknote-stuffed bratwurst in his trousers. It’s far too silly to really raise any moral questions, as it essentially disarms the bad guys by turning them into conniving buffoons. RtCW isn’t a lightweight sitcom of course, but it is still pretty silly in its own way.  I mean, alongside the stripper-iffic stormtroopers you’re fighting giant zombie cyborgs.

You might say this is all a moot point anyway. As lavish as Tech 3 was in its day, from a modern perspective we’re talking a low-poly and blurry-textured model. I can’t imagine anyone really getting turned on by it today. However Tech 5 is on its way, so perhaps we’ll one day revisit Castle Wolfenstein and enjoy extra-realistic Third Reich cleavage with added jiggling action. Then feel slightly guilty about it.