Go back to CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Dark Motives

Written by: Rik

Date posted: March 5, 2011

Hi there! New to CSI but can’t be bothered to watch it, and don’t know how to use Wikipedia? Well, let me give you the full benefit of my patchy experience of the hit TV show to give you an overview of the main characters, as they appear on the show, and in the game.

[Note to fans and pedants – I’ve tried to avoid major spoilers here, so if you want to tell me that I’ve missed stuff involving any of the characters after around Season 3/4 (which is when this game was released), don’t bother – it’s not that I don’t know, okay?]

Gil Grissom: As CSI night-shift supervisor, he’s the man in charge, the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the…well, you get the picture. Initially a cheery eccentric, he later has phases of introspection, surliness and beard growth. Likes to use the word ‘evidence’. Popular with the ladies, including her from The O.C. that played Mischa Barton’s mum and was married to Joshua from Friends. In-game representation seems to be afflicted by unnatural Cowell-esque high-waistband syndrome. Speech sounds like the actor William Petersen, out of character, reading from a page that he’s seen for the first time, with his agent’s gun held against his temple.

Catherine Willows: Grissom’s second-in-command, Catherine’s an ex-stripper with a dodgy ex-husband, an even dodgier dad, and a whiny kid to look after. Likes to be alternately sympathetic/judgmental towards other mothers when they’re involved in a case. In the show, has a normal human face, which the game transposes into a spooky and pale otherworldly weirdness.

Warrick Brown: Talented CSI highly rated by Grissom (and also by my wife – whose antipathy towards the show once halted for long enough for her to declare “He’s fit” when Warrick was on screen with his shirt off). Previously afflicted by a gambling addiction. In-game speech is provided by the actor who plays Warrick in the show, Gary Dourdan, but it doesn’t sound like anything like him. He’s that fed-up.

Nick Stokes: Boyish Texan hunk whose relative youth and bachelor lifestyle make him a useful source of information when a case involves frat-parties, street-racing or extreme sports (see also: Danny Messer from CSI: NY). Loses cool points for occasionally wearing turtleneck jumpers. In-game, he looks like a narrow-eyed inbred and sounds more bored with his script than Boris Bored reading the world’s most boring sequence of words at the bored-sounding actors’ Olympics.

Sara Sidle: Brought in to replace the dislikeable Holly Gribbs, who was killed off in the pilot episode after being given the thumbs-down by test audiences. Used to be in ER. A justifiably popular character, so I’ll whisper this quietly: I think she has an ever-so-slightly annoying voice. I mean, it’s hardly anything. Like, once an episode, it’ll annoy me. Oh, and in the game, she’s a bit scary-lookin’.

Greg Sanders: Lab technician who does tests and science-y stuff while wearing one of a selection of loud and oddly-coloured shirts and unsuccessfully attempting knockabout banter with colleagues. In the game, he does a hell of a lot of your work for you but never moves from a stationary, seated position, which is a neat trick. Visual representation looks alarmingly like a child’s head perched atop an adult’s body, but on the plus side, there is at least a reasonable amount of effort made with the voiceover.

Jim Brass: Also known as the only guy from the main cast who’s actually a police detective – i.e. it’s his job to solve the case and find the killer. This being CSI, though, he mainly performs the role of assistant, allowing himself to be guided by the others, furrowing his brow at anything too complicated, and reserving most of his energies for playing hardball with suspects. In the game, his main duties seem to involve typing searches into a laptop with one hand. Face and voice, however, are both unexpectedly recognisable.

Al Robbins: The doctor-y guy in charge of cutting up the bodies [surely you mean ‘Chief Medical Examiner’, or ‘Forensic Pathologist’? – a reader]. Has a beard, crutches, and an odd sense of humour. In-game, he looks like he’d be a likely suspect, if you didn’t know better.